01 Jun Worry & Anxiety
You cannot worry away your worries………..
“The problem for worriers is that they use worry as a way of reacting to everyday life events as well as big occasions. In these everyday incidents, worry is like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut… The worried mind is unfortunately hyperactive, unfocused, repetitive, and undermining. To get the better of worry, we have to learn to save it for the big occasions and not use it as a one-size-fits-all approach to everything in life.”
—Kevin Meares and Mark Freeston,
How can we get rid of worry.. ACTION
Every hear the saying action speaks louder than words well it kicks as against worry too.
Examples of needless worry.. Having an awkward conversation with someone when you know it needs to happen
The worrier will wait as long as possible and build it up ten times in their head this causes sleepless nights and low mood, they then have conversation and guess what happens? 9 times out of 10 they say something like this ‘god that was not as bad as I thought’
Imagine the same scenario for the person who takes action
A problem arises, they stay out of their head and they solve the issue immediately and they are able to get on with their day.
So what does this tell us then? It tells us that Action kills anxiety.
Here are some tips to help you get to the point of action when things start to build up in your head.
Notice and name what your worry is.
The fundamental question that drives worry is What if?
What if I can’t stick to my nutrition plan? Then it means I have failed.
What if I get hungry later? Then I will be uncomfortable and that will be intolerable.
Some thinking involves a lot of all-or-nothing thinking (e.g. I worry that I will not get this perfect, therefore I wont try).
If you notice that you are doing the what if thinking catching it earlier and replacing it with why not.
This will change the thinking until you will sub consciously just resort to this new way of thinking
Notice and name “wondering and worrying”
I ask my clients to notice and name when they are “wondering and worrying”. I explain that this is
because they cannot do anything about a possible future; they can only control their actions in the
present.
I also look for whether the wondering and worrying is supported by knowledge we have right now.
An example is below a recent conversation I had with a client lets call him John
John: I’m worried that I won’t be able to stick to my eating plan when I go away on my summer vacation.
Coach: Well, since it’s February, that sounds like “wondering and worrying”.
John: I know, but… well… what if I can’t do it when I’m traveling?
Coach: Do you know for sure that this would be the case? Are you basing that concern on present
evidence? Because the food journal records, I have show that you are consistently following your habits.
John: I guess in the past I’ve fallen off the wagon.
Coach: That’s fair. But what about the person you are right now? With all your new skills? If we were to
look now, are you at risk of anything disastrous happening? Like, today? Or tomorrow?
John: I guess not.
Coach: OK, let’s stay focused on that, then. Let’s take action steps now that will keep you moving
forward. And I promise you that we will return to this question in June and make sure we have a solid
plan in place for you. I’m taking my own next action steps here — putting a reminder in my calendar for
June 1 to discuss this. Sound good?
Action step
Keep a worry journal
Worries thrive in the dark, musty recesses of our brains. But they die in bright sunlight.
So bring them outside.
Making worries explicit, then expressing them verbally, cuts them down to size. If you are a worrier, try
to journal your worries
Saying or writing down worries change the worries themselves (usually drastically reducing their impact),
You can use the 1–10 scale to rank worries,
Whatever technique you choose, it should eventually lead to next action steps.
Action kills anxiety.
So take action
Get acting, and you’ll quit worrying.
In the meantime: Don’t worry, be happy.